Contact Info / Websites

I AM REVIEWING STUFF.

2009-03-01 04:30:35 by Slapdamonkeyaz

I AM REVIEWING STUFF BECAUSE I AM BORED.

Book(date: March 01, 2009):

Duma Key by Stephen King.

This is one of the few Stephen King books that I like (include From a Buick 8 and Everything's Eventual and that is all the Stephen King books I like.). It is about a man in about his 40's who was injured in a construction accident. He lost his right arm, broke his hip, and has trouble remember shit. As the story progress, his wife leaves him and he moves off to a Florida Key called. . . well Duma Key. He starts painting and realizes that his painting holds some power unknown to him, but known to an aging woman with Alzheimer's (right?).

It turns into a Stephen King book (and by that I mean weird shit starts happening) almost half-way through, and it actually a wonderful book to read. It is one of the best books I've read.

Book (on March 1st, 2009)

Cell by Stephen King.

AHHH. I thought the idea of Stephen King doing a book about ZOMBIES (OR CLOSE TO IT) would be AWESOME. . . BUT NO: HE HAD TO FUCK IT UP WITH THE ANTI-CLIMATIC ENDING. YOU HAD TELEPATHIC ZOMBIES FLOATING AROUND IN THE AIR AND FIGHTING EACH OTHER AND SHIT LIKE THAT, AND YOU END WITH THE SENTENCE "FO-FO YOU-YOU"?! AHH YOU BITCH. >:(

If you forget the ending, then it is a good book. I guess. Kind of. Not really. Don't buy it.

Book (on March 1st, 2009)

The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss.

A fantasy story that is different then most others I've read. It is about a man called Kvothe (pronounced Quoth) telling a story about his life and him trying to learn the name of the wind. He was a child of two traveling performers of some kind of circus and they travel with an alchemist (don't quote me on that) called Ben. He teaches him the ways of alchemy until everyone around him is killed by a fabled race. You can read the book to figure our the rest.

This is the first book of a series released by this writer and I must say it is very good. The only thing that is the pain in the ass is that it came out in 2008 (or '07) and the sequel is gonna take it's sweet ass time to come out.


Xbox Live: Asshole or Awesome. . . hole.

2009-01-16 21:12:38 by Slapdamonkeyaz
Updated

If you play Xbox live, you know that some people are just fuckin' assholes for no reason. I will make a list of people who are assholes to me/my team for the hell of it.

Oh, my tag would be SDMaz. Add me if you please. If you want to jump down on a game of Rock Band or Halo 3, send me a message. My system is being a little shitface right now, I gotta fight with it to read discs, but I'll try to play with ya guys.

MICROSOFT SUSPENDED MY ACCOUNT DUE TO PAYMENT OPTIONS AND WE ARE HAVE AN EPIC BATTLE OVER IT. LIGHTNING SHOOTS OUT OF THE SKY, DRAGONS FIGHT FAR OFF IN THE DISTANCE, SHIT LIKE THAT.

This is mainly Halo 3, btw. Maybe Rock Band. Maybe misc other stuff.

HATE:

TDAWG FOE SHO: This guy is the shittiest player I've ever played. Me and Blue Army went into Rumble pit to fuck around and ran into this guy and his guest and they challenged us 2v2. We accepted it and beat them. Hard. They quit out. He then sends me a message saying "Using the sniper rifle isn't fair" and "I wuz by myself.). I told him if he wanted to make it "fair" then to come back and set it up how he wanted. I never got a response.

an evil dog: Pretty much the same as TDAWG except much more of a bitch. He set the game up to his liking (pure BR, no nades) and got pwned by Manmadeking. What makes him an asshole is he tried doing the same to me and got slaughtered (25-0) and said I was camping and called me a homo and such.

Pulominary Luigi: Not his actual account name, I'll update that. Me and Manmadeking smashed on this guy and his guest until they left (34 - 0, we both got perfections). He proceeded to call us bitches and gay and such in his broken English.

LOVE:
Manmadeking: That is his original account. He's lost maybe 50 games out of 250 (so he's won. . . what 4/5 of his games?). If I play with him I'm usually his guest. He's awesome and my oldest and bestest friend in the world. If I was gay, I'd be gay for him.

Blue Army Gen: If you are playing with me, you are probably playing with him too. We match each other in kills most often then not (and that would be 15 in slayer games, 25 in BtB or Squad) and knows how to push the other teams buttons without even talkin' to them.

Phil Ottawa: The best fuckin' warthog driver you will ever find. EVER.

XXZakxxAttackXX: The coolest Canadian I know. I play with him alot. One of the few people I play Rock Band with.


Dan Dodge

2007-11-30 12:01:50 by Slapdamonkeyaz
Updated

Just yesterday, 11-29-07, my uncle died. He was like my father. He's the one that played games with me(except sports, you'll see why later), he taught me alot of things(most inappropriate.), and gave me his sarcasm reflex. Early in his life, he did something that fucked up(and I mean seriously fucked up) his metabolism. At age thirteen, he was 250 and 6'0". Doctors told him he wouldn't live to see 30. He lived to see 41, with his birthday just nine days away. He said it himself, "30 is a blessing, 40 is a pipedream."

My uncle has always been a big guy. This year he injured his knee and couldn't leave his room in his apartment. I would go over to help him and keep him company. He knew he wasn't going to make it to Christmas. He got a blood-clot in his left leg earlier this week. Well, blood-clots travel and this one went to his lungs. I followed the ambulance, and helped the paramedics get him onto the gurney. He said he couldn't breathe. I grabbed his hand. I told him that I had always loved him. He squeezed my hand, and laughed. He flatlined and died right there.

We told the entire family, and it wasn't good. My grandfather, the bravest man I knew, broke down crying. My grandmother, being as religious as she is, gave my uncle the final blessing. Me and my brother get half of his bank account. So I get half of nothing, my brother gets the other half. Ha. My uncle didn't want to be missed and he wanted an Irish wake. It's going to be hard not to be somber at the wake. His friends are flying in to do what friends do when someone dies.

We had to pay $600 to move him to a crematory from wherever he was. Because he was so big. If he wasn't, it woulda been $100. Also, cremating him is going to cost $1000 plus because apparently they add $1 a pound after the 220 mark. They also have to 'surgically alter' him into the oven thing or else he may burn the entire place down; That costs $500. For a simple cremation, it's going to cost $2200. He also left behind no will, no money, no notes, no health insurance, no nothing. Except for his ever-lasting mark on me and the Dodge family. May god rest his soul.

Update: He always wanted to make this comic called Obese Ninja. Stealth of Elephant, Swiftness of Office building.

Alright, You can comment. But don't be asshats.

I mean it.

I'm watching you.

I AM.

DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO!